Nature is the original tantric teacher. Tantra is about getting back to what is natural, what is our first nature: re-booting and allowing a connection with the Earth to take hold of us. Get in touch if you'd like to see how easy it is to organise a group, solo or couples retreat with me. Tantra or Nature Spirits or both? Personally, in my experience, trees and waterfalls are incredibly helpful for us to get in touch with our own life-force energy!
The divine feminine is that in which desire arises and it calls forth the divine masculine which takes action.... picture an arrow in a bow being pulled back.... that poignant moment of pure potential like a pregnant pause... then the arrow being released, flying straight and true, cutting through the air and then finding and piercing the target.
Another way I see the divine masculine is as the sword of truth...that which cuts away everything that no longer serves, that which is not the truth of the divine. The divine masculine is also in operation when someone stands up for a person's divine and absolute right to be who they are, and to choose and walk the path they desire (assuming no harm is done of course...) This is the divine aspect of the protector that in the past was not so divine and was only interested in protecting the family, the tribe, village, or country etc. It was aspect that saw a difference between allies and enemies and it could not see that all is one and that the belief in allies creates enemies...and vice-versa.
Only the mind can separate the principles of masculine and feminine for they are truly only One. We all use both principles all the time. I think it's just a re-balancing that is going on in the mind field currently which is placing the emphasis on the feminine. But realistically, if people are going to continue to become more conscious, then continuing the gender war will not be an option.
Performance anxiety is a major cause of misery in the bedroom. And what happens in the bedroom filters out into the rest of our lives. That is not an exaggeration in the least.
We may not realise it but everything we do, all that we are, comes from our sexual energy, our creative life force.
Everything is affected when we do not allow ourselves to flow with life, and life to flow through us.
Sexuality is quite literally the root of who we are as beings: Our sexual centre is located in the perineum region and is the base, or that which stands under and supports the rest of our centres. It’s our roots, our connection to the earth and to each other, and without it, you wouldn't be here.
Alongside Performance anxiety I will add some more P words: Pressure, Protection, Producing and Providing . . . and Pissed off!!! I could add Penis to that list but I wouldn’t want to restrict these concerns to only men because this applies to women too!
Truth is that whether we in male or female bodies it makes no difference – the masculine within us all feels the Pressure of these P’s and it to say it creates tremendous misery would be a vast understatement. They all add up to a great deal of stress and that in turn creates a spiralling down affect which makes it very hard to get out of the ‘ditch of despair and depression’ that we can so easily find ourselves in.
It often shows up first in our sex lives and usually it shows up more obviously in men – as they are in the male body and therefore display the strongest outward manifestation of masculine (or yang) force and as such, traditionally are the ones who are ‘supposed’ to Perform, Protect, Provide. But as I’ve already said, it would be foolish to exclude women as they too experience all of these symptoms of stress. Loss of libido, diminishing Potency and Pleasure, Premature ejaculation (there’s some more P’s!) self-worth and confidence issues…to name just a few.
But even say we are just a little Pissed off with our Performance, whether that be in the bedroom, boardroom or back-room studio – it doesn’t matter whether it’s sex or studying or secretarial work because Pressure to Perform, Provide, Produce and Protect saps us of our vital life-force energy and we can become quite literally dried up. It’s all about balance! We need to create balance in our lives is the common cry.
But what is not often realised it that balance is not something we can impose from the outside as that only creates more Pressure and Perpetuates goal driven Performance. What is needed is to remove the goals of (sexual) Performance and allow space into our sexual and sensual experiences. In this way we learn to relax, open and discover new ways of experiencing our sexuality. The paradox is that we must be both willing to go there and willing to let go of the need to go there in order to get there! It’s a goalless goal.
Working with the Polarity of masculine and feminine energies is what Tantra is all about. Allowing the free flow of life energy to express through us without blocking or trying to control it. Yes, it takes Practise but most people would testify that it’s not Painful to Practise, it’s pleasurable – so don’t Procrastinate any further, start today!
One Heart Tantra coaching, massage, tantric meditation, intimacy, empowerment and energy work…workshops or private sessions – all work to help you become more yourself, and to let go of that which blocks your flow. I'm here to help you to quite literally ‘Awaken to the Bliss of Your Own Being.’
Whether you are in a partnership or not, tantra and sacred sexuality coaching helps you to get into yourself in yummy, fun and growth-inducing ways...
Tantra Massage is perfect for couples to explore intimacy in anew way - take the pressure off yourselves to have sexual intercourse.
Exercise in Self-Pleasuring
Here’s a very simple exercise that will help Prolong your sexual Pleasure and also help you to open, expand and find deeper meaning in your sexuality and spirituality – it is also one of the keys for men to be able to separate ejaculation and orgasm. This is a very simple yet powerful self-care tool and Prevention is better than a cure as they say! All in all, I honestly could not give you a better, more effective or more far-reaching meditation to do - ye I know I'm banging on about the great benefits of masturbation yet again! But if you’d like to read more on the philosophy and benefits you can find the full article called Masturbation, Self-Love and Tantra, click here.
To make love to yourself: Begin to masturbate and stop at the point just before orgasm. Put your attention in your heart, and let the energy go there…. The exact point to stop is the point where you know that one more stroke will make you come. Just take your hand away, and let the energy go up to the heart – very simple (yes, I know it’s hard…!) After each rush of energy to the heart resume masturbating, repeating the cycle, until there seems to be no more energy, or when you feel like stopping. There is no prohibition against orgasm, only the requirement to delay it, letting the energy go to the heart first. Delaying orgasms in this manner will make them more intense.
I'm laying on my back. My partner is barely moving inside of me. I feel completely open; a cosmic portal...a gateway to the mysteries, the Great Unmoving.
My breath is breathing me, through me.
A star explodes in my head and the Light from it instructs me to pass through this vortex to focus my intention beyond my head. My hands know to go there, they feel for the gateway and as it opens I'm there, on the cross, merged with the Christ, Jeshua.
I'm hardly breathing, in a state of suspended animation as I intentionally allow my mind to have this experience, not holding back. I trust my partner completely to know it's okay, that he can allow me this space.
My whole body, my Being, is illuminated Light, I radiate Gold. The agony is exquisite and cannot be distinguished from the ecstasy. Love and fear co-exist. Death is not separate from Life; it is a part of it.
Something shifts within my mind and doubt creeps in. Fear now holds more space than Love. A question in my mind "Have I been abandoned...? Am I alone?"
I breathe, I relax, I allow expansion into love and the tears come, such a deep deep grief, a chasm that feels unthinkable. I surrender to it. So much release, so much Love floods in, soothing, holding, renewing me, healing.
I'm shattered, spent.
It's so easy to avoid intimacy. Keep yourself busy, do anything to avoid the silence of your heart. Always be helping others and always be giving advice. It's a big clue when you hear someone say that they prefer to give than to receive. I actually think the difficulty in receiving is such a deeply ingrained conditioning within humanity that most people suffer from it to one degree or another and for me personally it's been the major focus of my life and work over the past 10 years and it's what took me into tantra massage in the first place.
In tantra massage giving and receiving are separated and so over time it becomes fairly obvious to see the blocks we have to receiving. And the thing is that it's just not possible to force yourself to receive if you're not ready, nor force another to receive your attention. Yet we all attempt this one way or another and to varying degrees of intensity. In tantra massage, it's a process of learning to allow and deepen into experience whilst releasing our inner blocks/layers of conditioning. The receiver learns how to focus on their inner experience without the need to include or project onto the giver. At the deepest level, the resistance to receiving is really only our resistance to knowing ourselves as Spirit.
It's only when we can trust our own experience that we are able to stop resisting - this journey into trust is something that has as many different ways and forms as there are human beings.
When we own our experiences wholly without the need to appoint another as our authority, then there is nothing left to hide behind and all that is left is ourself. That is intimacy.
Author Naomi Wolfe makes astute points and draws deep-reaching conclusions in "How porn is destroying modern sex lives".
The article opens: "These days, I am rarely surprised when, after a lecture or book signing, someone will try to talk to me about their addiction to porn and ask where he or she can get help.
As an author and feminist social commentator, I often discuss my work at events and meet a wide spectrum of people who talk to me about sex, relationships and, more increasingly, the impact of pornography on their lives.
There is no stereotype of what this person will look like...."
I too find that many people want to talk to me about their porn habits and how it is deeply concerning to them and destroying all hopes of having a 'normal' relationship. They are often feeling lost and confused. Some say they have never known good sex and some don't even believe that sex (as we know it) has the potential of fulfilling them anyway.
Wolfe states: "Recently, a major British study, the National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles, which questioned more than 15,000 people aged 16 to 74, showed couples are having about 20 per cent less sex per month than they did just ten years ago."
I read another article recently which reported that young Japanese people are being turned off sex to such an extent that they've stopped having sex altogether.
These issues are the result of the repression of sexual energy and urges - the devastating effects are growing year by year. We are at the stage where we can no longer ignore the total dysfunction of society and culture in general.
We need to understand that these issues cannot be given a quick fix by banning pornography or even limiting it's availability - though those measures may be helpful in bringing about some relief, they are not a long term solution to this problem.
Why not? Because the problem is lack of fulfilment, lack of pleasure and the acute anxiety of simply being alive. We are at war with life itself and until we reverse that compulsion we are not going to change our experience of life.
It is no good to look to see what is normal anymore and to judge our standards against that - normal is not natural, and frankly, I don't believe that we know what natural really looks and feels like as it has been missing for so long.
Delving into the life works of Wilhelm Reich I have recently had validation of what I intuitively knew to be accurate - that suppression of sexuality and the inability to allow our sexual gratification through natural orgiastic expression has created the complete opposite of what we are capable of naturally.
This suppression, this complete and utter rejection and control of our nature has successfully created a society that has reversed the meaning of life. We are at a loss for answers because we do not even know what it is that we've lost, so we're searching around for what we think it is we need, or want.
Nature is simple, naturally. I believe humans are too: it’s when we stop, or worse, reverse what is natural that complications and suffering ensue. The answers lay in our body and mind – we hold the natural function of life within us and we must seek that out if we are to bring about a correction that leads us to a fulfilling life.
Nature itself cannot be corrupted – it is always pure in its being. Seek connection with Nature to help reverse that which is unnatural. Become at one with the Earth if you wish to know the truth of who you are, and claim it.
Tantra itself is not a cure - but it can be the start of a wave of change.
RADIO SHOW featuring Lynn
What started as a relatively simple wish to understand what was is important, in various aspects including spiritually and physically, about women choosing to go grey, or continuing to dye their hair. This fascinating discussion leads Lynn Paterson and Jackie Walker into blethering and exploring issues as diverse as:
Tune in to the Blether Report every Monday at 8pm UK.
My interview about Tantra and Kundalini on the I AM Well Show (18.12.13) is now available to listen on-line:
In this interview I share some of my own story about how I got into tantra, my understanding of what tantra and kundalini actually is and how to get involved in tantra.
"Knowledge of that which is alive can alone banish terror."
Do We Really Want Free Energy?
In my tantra work I've worked with quite a few women here in Ireland who have never had an orgasm nor even looked at their genitals - they do not know what they are like. This is an astonishing fact for a lot of people. The suppression of the feminine (Shakti/sexual energy) is particularly aimed at women (it does affect men too) and many feel completely shamed at simply just being a woman - this is often a sub-conscious belief that they are not even aware they have.
Because of the over sexualisation of women and their bodies, it is even more confusing today for women to understand themselves due to so many mixed messages in the media and entertainment industry. It is no surprise to me that both men and women are still having major difficulties with their sex lives!
We know barely anything about the power of sexual energy - even in tantric circles, we are only just beginners but if we want peace and harmony on Earth, it is essential we as a species claim our divine birth right and open to becoming fully sexually charged humans as sexual energy is the key to becoming empowered. This will require a radical re-think about what sex means, and a necessary letting go of our erroneous beliefs we formed through false information being fed to us over millennia.
The battle for power is going on right now in the world and is showing up in numerous variations from war to rising home-fuel prices. But right now we have the technology for free energy but it's hidden, kept secret and all attempts so far to share it have come to a sticky end. Why is this any different to our own inner free energy that we are shutting down and hiding away?
Kundalini is ALIVE and waiting to be recognised within each and every one of us - once it is awakened we begin to know our own intrinsic worth and value. We start to know our power and understand our inter-connectedness with nature. Sexual energy IS nature...consciously awakening Kundalini means you can and will know the Earth in a truly intimate way. Once this happens, you know you are part of the Earth, not separate and you KNOW you will be provided for. Survival mentality disappears and there is no possibility of listening to an outside authority who is trying to control you. This is not an over-night or one-off process; it's a journey of becoming. Becoming sexually liberated means owning and understanding our power, that which we are born of is the most beautiful and natural expression of God on this planet and in this universe.
Read Lynn's Other Blog on Wordpress: "Where Angels Fear to Tread?"