There are some who may be feeling bereft of love today, and there are those who may not be. Sooner or later we all feel full or empty of love and much of that can be put down to not being able or willing to allow love in. Being reception is the most pressing ‘need’ of our time for we do indeed live in a society which has decided that to give is better than to receive.  It doesn’t make sense of course because there must always be those who are open to receiving in order for any giving to take place…

I believe that our most dire lack of receiving is from our Earth Mother Goddess – if we would but allow ourselves to feel loved by Her then we would receive the most beautiful bounty and have need for nothing. We would understand our place in the world and want for nothing. We would know all our requirements are taken care of, no question, no qualification, no validation required – it is a given, and it would be known to each and every one of us who is able to open to receiving, we would know what and when to take. Yes – it is already a given so knowing when/what to take is required of us, it’s a responsibility and part and parcel of being in right relationship with the earth.

A major disorder of our time is lack of self-worth and this lack of self-belief means we do not feel worthy to receive – we close ourselves of and say ‘no’ to receiving love. Anyone who has ever felt this way about themselves only then to have their heart  opened by the sweetest most loving presence ever imaginable will know the bitter sweetness of realising that they had always been loved – they simply didn’t realise it.

She Loves You
She Loves You Not
She Loves You – and there is no ‘Not’
SHE LOVES YOU
END OF STORY – GAME OVER!
– From Your Mother, The Earth, The Goddess

In every moment it is far easier to turn away, to block, to deny, to avoid the Love that She has for us, for me, for you. Given the option, most people choose that which they know; separation from Spirit, separation from Self, separation from the Great Mother, at least in our mind anyway. 

Yes, to allow yourself to receive Love is a challenge for many people in different ways. Opening to Love can feel scary because it will come into your energy field and that can actually be experienced as invasive in the beginning because we have conditioned ourselves against love.

Softening and coming in trust is a process that will cultivate intimacy in your life - learning to set healthy boundaries is part of this process as you will learn in that who you are, and who you are not. 

© Lynn Paterson 14 Feb 2020

You have a lot of light inside you; that light has been trapped, it’s been cut off, at least in your mind it has been cut off from the outside. This is the source of the sense of isolation and loneliness - this light within has forgotten that it is part of everything – that IS everything.

When you begin to open not only are you opening to the light coming from what appears to be outside of you, i.e. the sun, the radiation off other people, but you’re also opening to let the light within you, out. Sometimes that light actually is darkness, other times that lightness is darkness. 

​The light that is within you may be masquerading as darkness. The darkness within you may be masquerading as light. Stop all effort to try and figure out what is what and which is which. Stop trying to work out what it is and just live. There is only one energy that is you. All other names for it are untrue. There may be temporary experiences; experience in the temporal, but the truth is there is only that which you are.

©Lynn Paterson 2016

​My journey in Tantra has centred on touch as an expression of love, pleasure, healing, nurturing and liberation. Before I discovered Tantra I held a lot of sexual shame which prevented me from fully enjoying intimacy and sexual love with my partners. Receiving conscious, loving touch enabled me to claim my sovereign right of pleasure in my body along with creating boundaries so that I could learn to say yes and know authentically knowing what it was I wanted.  In fact learning about boundaries really helped me to learn a lot about myself and I still believe it is one of the most essential self-care learning that we can do for ourselves, and for others too as having a stronger sense of self allows others to do the same; to be themselves without apology. I discovered not only liberation through this and loving touch, but also a deep abiding love within myself. 

Touch is one of the most powerful healing modalities available. It opens channels within the Self and the body that allow for the spontaneous healing of old hurts and wounds, and reconnects us to pleasure and to the spiritual dimensions. This beauty and sacredness is more easily accessed when surrendering through touch and breath. 
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​Touch holds the power to connect, to pleasure, to comfort, nurture and to heal.  Touch is the means, the gateway, between the inner and outer worlds.  More than any other sense, touch reminds us that we are not alone. We all yearn to be deeply touched by another and yet we may fear it too.  Conscious, loving touch is the medium through which we may integrate our sensual and spiritual aspects - this means that we need more than just an experience and intellectual understanding - we need to integrate learning and new experiences to embody it and touch is the most powerful and effective way in which to achieve this.  In this way it can help us to an enhanced life experience and increased growth and awareness through not just letting go of beliefs, patterns and behaviours that limit our growth and capacity for pleasure and joy, but also in creating new beliefs, understandings and behaviours that support an enhanced life experience where we are more open to pleasure, contentment and self-fulfilment.

Nature is the original tantric teacher. Everything in nature is telling us about the power of life force and how everything is interconnected and how everything is about sex. The word sex is interchangeable with the word life. You think I go too far? No, I assure you, EVERYTHING in nature, including humans, is about sex. I will go even further out on a limb and say that everything in life is about sex. Just not quite sex how we usually see it however.

Our view of sex tends to be, well, extremely distorted to put it mildly.  We confuse it with eroticism, with lust, with romance and emotional love, with pornography etc. We also confuse sex with our experience of it whether that be good, bad, indifference, mixed, painful, ecstatic...in other words we generally mistake sex for what we think and believe it is. And in truth, that is not so for at it's purest, sex is the polarity interchange between the masculine or positive pole, and the negative or feminine pole. That we have an issue with that is of course ridiculous...and yet that is exactly what our society does has an issue with. I believe that  most of the world's human population have misunderstanding about to one degree or another. I also believe that this misunderstanding is about fear of our own life force power - this is what causes us to suppress, to repress our sexual life force. When anything is suppressed or repressed it doesn't disappear, it just comes up in a distorted way.

Sex is one of the two greatest fears of life, the other being death. And having fear of these two great mysteries is the cause of all the world's disease and abuse of power. I don't say these things and make these claims lightly and generally speaking tend to leave the deeply mystical and philosophical and metaphysical stuff to private conversations. That's something that is changing now as I find it's impossible to discuss tantra without talking about the deeper aspects of it and how it's impossible to separate life from nature  and why it's essential if we wish to feel fulfilled in life to know nature as intimately as we wish to know ourselves. ​

​​Much has changed since I first started offering Tantra Massage back in 2007 when there was hardly any tantra massage in Scotland, Ireland or even England. Today there are many more therapists and other professionals offering what is now a commonly used term of tantra massage. It's become a generic term in fact, however not all are genuine tantra massages and many are no more than exotic massages with happy endings. So what's the difference?  In one word, intention.

It's what the intention is behind the offering that most qualifies the product.  The difference between an authentic tantra massage and erotic massage is simply that tantra massage seeks to expand, heighten or ground, depending on needs, it seeks to clear energy lines of blockages to encourage the free flow of life force/sexual energy, it will enable the nurturing/feeding of internal organs, and seeks the regulation, harmonisation and integration of the mind, body spirit system. In contrast the erotic massage seeks to stimulate sexual organs to produce short lived pleasure of ejaculation and orgasm.

The following information is the original writing from when I set up One Heart Tantra. Some of appears on several other tantra sites though not with my permission. I suppose imitation is the most sincere form of flattery...! For anyone considering tantra massage either with myself or looking for other genuine practitioners it will serve as a good guide for what to look for in your practitioner and also as a frame-work for a session with One Heart Tantra.

Please feel free to ask questions either by commenting or by emailing me.

What is Tantra Massage?

Tantra Massage is a combination of loving touch that gently soothes the body and senses while at the same time awakening the spiritual life force that we know of as sexual energy. The entire experience is essentially a ritual that celebrates the whole being that you are, and encourages you to completely relax into a state of receiving conscious touch and pleasure. By surrendering action, many new experiences and states of consciousness are available which promotes self-confidence, increases your energy and capacity for pleasure, and promotes deep inner peace. We all have a self-imposed limit to receiving pleasure; a glass ceiling that we don't even know is there! Tantra Massage helps us to expand our capacity for pleasure by focusing on learning how to fully receive.

The divine feminine is that in which desire arises and it calls forth the divine masculine which takes action.... picture an arrow in a bow being pulled back.... that poignant moment of pure potential like a pregnant pause... then the arrow being released, flying straight and true, cutting through the air and then finding and piercing the target.

Another way I see the divine masculine is as the sword of truth...that which cuts away everything that no longer serves, that which is not the truth of the divine. The divine masculine is also in operation when someone stands up for a person's divine and absolute right to be who they are, and to choose and walk the path they desire (assuming no harm is done of course...) This is the divine aspect of the protector that in the past was not so divine and was only interested in protecting the family, the tribe, village, or country etc. It was aspect that saw a difference between allies and enemies and it could not see that all is one and that the belief in allies creates enemies...and vice-versa.
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Only the mind can separate the principles of masculine and feminine for they are truly only One.  We all use both principles all the time. I think it's just a re-balancing that is going on in the mind field currently which is placing the emphasis on the feminine. But realistically, if people are going to continue to become more conscious, then continuing the gender war will not be an option. 

I'm laying on my back.  My partner is barely moving inside of me.  I feel completely open; a cosmic portal...a gateway to the mysteries, the Great Unmoving.

My breath is breathing me, through me. 

A star explodes in my head and the Light from it instructs me to pass through this vortex to focus my intention beyond my head.  My hands know to go there, they feel for the gateway and as it opens I'm there, on the cross, merged with the Christ, Jeshua. 

I'm hardly breathing, in a state of suspended animation as I intentionally allow my  mind to have this experience,  not holding back.  I trust my partner completely to know it's okay, that he can allow me this space.

My whole body, my Being, is illuminated Light, I radiate Gold.  The agony is exquisite and cannot be distinguished from the ecstasy. Love and fear co-exist.  Death is not separate from Life; it is a part of it.  

Something shifts within my mind and doubt creeps in.  Fear now holds more space than Love.  A question in my mind "Have I been abandoned...?  Am I alone?"

I breathe, I relax, I allow expansion into love and the tears come, such a deep deep grief, a chasm that feels unthinkable. I surrender to it. So much release, so much Love floods in, soothing, holding, renewing me, healing.

I'm shattered, spent.

It's so easy to avoid intimacy. Keep yourself busy, do anything to avoid the silence of your heart. Always be helping others and always be giving advice. It's a big clue when you hear someone say that they prefer to give than to receive. I actually think the difficulty in receiving is such a deeply ingrained conditioning within humanity that most people suffer from it to one degree or another and for me personally it's been the major focus of my life and work over the past 10 years and it's what took me into tantra massage in the first place.

In tantra massage giving and receiving are separated and so over time it becomes fairly obvious to see the blocks we have to receiving. And the thing is that it's just not possible to force yourself to receive if you're not ready, nor force another to receive your attention. Yet we all attempt this one way or another and to varying degrees of intensity. In tantra massage, it's a process of learning to allow and deepen into experience whilst releasing our inner blocks/layers of conditioning. The receiver learns how to focus on their inner experience without the need to include or project onto the giver. At the deepest level, the resistance to receiving is really only our resistance to knowing ourselves as Spirit.

It's only when we can trust our own experience that we are able to stop resisting - this journey into trust is something that has as many different ways and forms as there are human beings.

When we own our experiences wholly without the need to appoint another as our authority, then there is nothing left to hide behind and all that is left is ourself. That is intimacy.

Author Naomi Wolfe makes astute points and draws deep-reaching conclusions in "How porn is destroying modern sex lives".  

The article opens: "These days, I am rarely surprised when, after a lecture or book signing, someone will try to talk to me about their addiction to porn and ask where he or she can get help.

As an author and feminist social commentator, I often discuss my work at events and meet a wide spectrum of people who talk to me about sex, relationships and, more increasingly, the impact of pornography on their lives.

There is no stereotype of what this person will look like...."

I too find that many people want to talk to me about their porn habits and how it is deeply concerning to them and destroying all hopes of having a 'normal' relationship. They are often feeling lost and confused. Some say they have never known good sex and some don't even believe that sex (as we know it) has the potential of fulfilling them anyway.

Wolfe states: "Recently, a major British study, the National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles, which questioned more than 15,000 people aged  16 to 74, showed couples are having about  20 per cent less sex per month than they did just ten years ago."

I read another article recently which reported that young Japanese people are being turned off sex to such an extent that they've stopped having sex altogether.

These issues are the result of the repression of sexual energy and urges - the devastating effects are growing year by year.  We are at the stage where we can no longer ignore the total dysfunction of society and culture in general. 

We need to understand that these issues cannot be given a quick fix by banning pornography or even limiting it's availability - though those measures may be helpful in bringing about some relief, they are not a long term solution to this problem. 

Why not? Because the problem is lack of fulfilment, lack of pleasure and the acute anxiety of simply being alive.  We are at war with life itself and until we reverse that compulsion we are not going to change our experience of life.

It is no good to look to see what is normal anymore and to judge our standards against that - normal is not natural, and frankly, I don't believe that we know what natural really looks and feels like as it has been missing for so long.

Delving into the life works of Wilhelm Reich I have recently had validation of what I intuitively knew to be accurate - that suppression of sexuality and the inability to allow our sexual gratification through natural orgiastic expression has created the complete opposite of what we are capable of naturally. 

This suppression, this complete and utter rejection and control of our nature has successfully created a society that has reversed the meaning of life.  We are at a loss for answers because we do not even know what it is that we've lost, so we're searching around for what we think it is we need, or want. 

Nature is simple, naturally.  I believe humans are too:  it’s when we stop, or worse, reverse what is natural that complications and suffering ensue. The answers lay in our body and mind – we hold the natural function of life within us and we must seek that out if we are to bring about a correction that leads us to a fulfilling life. 

Nature itself cannot be corrupted – it is always pure in its being.  Seek connection with Nature to help reverse that which is unnatural.  Become at one with the Earth if you wish to know the truth of who you are, and claim it.

Tantra itself is not a cure - but it can be the start of a wave of change.

My interview about Tantra and Kundalini on the I AM Well Show (18.12.13)  is now available to listen on-line:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/renford/2013/12/18/the-i-am-well-show-with-guest-lynn-paterson

In this interview I share some of my own story about how I got into tantra, my understanding of what tantra and kundalini actually is and how to get involved in tantra.

Do We Really Want Free Energy?

In my tantra work I've worked with quite a few women here in Ireland who have never had an orgasm nor even looked at their genitals - they do not know what they are like. This is an astonishing fact for a lot of people. The suppression of the feminine (Shakti/sexual energy) is particularly aimed at women (it does affect men too) and many feel completely shamed at simply just being a woman - this is often a sub-conscious belief that they are not even aware they have.

Because of the over sexualisation of women and their bodies, it is even more confusing today for women to understand themselves due to so many mixed messages in the media and entertainment industry.  It is no surprise to me that both men and women are still having major difficulties with their sex lives!

We know barely anything about the power of sexual energy - even in tantric circles, we are only just beginners but if we want peace and harmony on Earth,  it is essential we as a species claim our divine birth right and open to becoming fully sexually charged humans as sexual energy is the key to becoming empowered.  This will require a radical re-think about what sex means, and a necessary letting go of our erroneous beliefs we formed through false information being fed to us over millennia.

The battle for power is going on right now in the world and is showing up in numerous variations from war to rising home-fuel prices.  But right now we have the technology for free energy but it's hidden, kept secret and all attempts so far to share it have come to a sticky end.  Why is this any different to our own inner free energy that we are shutting down and hiding away?

Kundalini is ALIVE and waiting to be recognised within each and every one of us - once it is awakened we begin to know our own intrinsic worth and value.  We start to know our power and understand our inter-connectedness with nature.  Sexual energy IS nature...consciously awakening Kundalini means you can and will know the Earth in a truly intimate way.  Once this happens, you know you are part of the Earth, not separate and you KNOW you will be provided for.  Survival mentality disappears and there is no possibility of listening to an outside authority who is trying to control you. This is not an over-night or one-off process; it's a journey of becoming.  Becoming sexually liberated means owning and understanding our power, that which we are born of is the most beautiful and natural expression of God on this planet and in this universe.

I’m a very visual person, especially when it comes to media like movies or images on the computer. I find hours can disappear fast as water down the plug-hole as I become totally immersed in looking through photos and artwork on the internet. Ask me to find an image on a theme I like and I’m kept entertained for hours, especially if it’s nature! That’s what happened when I had decided I needed a new website for my tantra work, One Heart Tantra. I was currently using a theme of a woman holding a red rose but wanted a change whilst still using a floral theme. I had settled on Orchids as my main theme, as I find them so exquisitely beautiful. I LOVE nature and am constantly inspired by what I see, feel and interact with, whether that be trees, rocks, pieces of dead wood, stones, plants, water, animals, insects and of course, flowers. My task for the site was to find several orchid pictures. I’d already located the main picture, but I needed these for the 8-10 individual pages on the website.

So here I was, trawling through Google searches for Orchid photographs for hours over a three-day period. I knew it was obsessive behaviour; I could have been far more efficient with my time but I was totally hooked on these orchids. Each picture I viewed showed me another variety, another colour and shape, another aspect of the orchid energy. I became so involved with them that I would see them in my inner vision at night times as I was dropping off to sleep and again on waking in the morning.

On the third evening I had gone back onto the computer immediately after dinner. Isaac and I had agreed to watch a movie together and I’d promised him a foot rub too. But I’d become totally absorbed in my quest to find the perfect orchid picture and I was now fascinated with some incredible close-up shots of the flowers; some were like little faces and I found myself ooh-ing and ahh-ing at their cuteness, marvelling at their characters – they were very much coming alive in front of my eyes!

Beyond our mind-made labels of who we think we are as sexual or spiritual entities, beyond our concepts of sexuality of straight, bi, gay or any other identification we have, is Love.  Osho knew this and elegantly shared it in the quote above.

To know thyself as Love, both as an individual and as the One, is the realisation we long for, even we do not yet know it. It takes a lot of self-trust and courage to really let go into ecstasy - and someone to hold their own heart-space as they give unconditionally to you. In their field of Love and appreciation where nothing is expected from you, and where you are simply free to be yourself without fear of judgement or control, You as a human/divine being can find your true nature.

Hearts align, peace is found and the Universe sings it's song of Love.